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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25943308">Shifting Fates</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScarletWraith/pseuds/ScarletWraith'>ScarletWraith</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Legends - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Reality, Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Related, Choking, Disney World &amp; Disneyland, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Force Choking (Star Wars), Inappropriate Use of Lightsabers, Multiple Orgasms, Multiple Realities, Multiverse, Reality Bending, Seduction to the Dark Side, Slow Build, Slow To Update, Smut</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 06:40:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,567</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25943308</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScarletWraith/pseuds/ScarletWraith</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>22 year old Vitale Egan thought her dreams of moving to college would be a breeze. But shortly after a trip to Disneyland reality begins to bend and she begins to question what is real. As the life she's known begins to crumble, a chance at a new life arises with it. The real question is, will she be able to survive long enough to get through Disney's Adventure Park?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Slice of Life</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>I couldn’t help but smile as we waited outside for the gates to open, a small crowd had gathered in the early morning waiting to be let into Disneyland. I had spent the last 4 years after my high school graduation saving money for college and a season pass to Disneyland. My grandparents had cut me a deal when I was the age of 12 that if I could raise the amount of half of a ticket or a season pass to Disneyland they would pay for the other portion. As the years went by I had never taken the offer seriously or too many unexpected expenditures crossed my path. Like the year I turned 16. I had saved up enough money for a pass and was looking forward to an amazing summer. That was until I crashed my car into a tree, three days after buying it. I had spent the next year and a half saving money to even be able to afford an old 1997 Yamaha Thundercat, painted a drab olive green. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>My grandparents had taken me in as a child when my parents went missing after my 6th birthday. My grandmother was a well known physicist who had made a small fortune off of her exploration into the study of multiverses. My grandfather had been a gardener working on the grounds of the research facility she was studying at. Their mutual love of horticulture had served them well, he had noticed her taking interest in his work with Turkish rugging. A plant her own mother had planted around their home and one my grandmother had come to love.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took him roughly a year and a half to finally ask her out after watching her every spring and summer admire his flowers. They had a whirlwind romance which consequently led to the birth of my father and my aunt roughly 20 years later. They didn’t marry until well into their 40’s after they both had retired and finally had the money and the time to settle down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>My father had attempted to follow in my grandmother’s footsteps, but took an interest in the possibility of myths or folklore creating realities of their own. His base theory expressed the idea that when stories are written based upon the belief of their validity they can come into existence but in a different universe, and even those universes can have different realities. The idea was quickly considered flippant among the community and he was shunned shortly after entering the field. However, having a penchant towards resilience my father instead picked up writing novels about his theories or as most of the public saw them as conspiracies. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His body was found dumped in a ditch a couple towns over, 3 months after he went missing. The autopsy claimed he must’ve been killed with multiple pieces of hot metal.As there were a series of only what could be described as cauterized stab wounds the diameter of someone’s thumb. There were no leads as to who could’ve done it besides my mother as she had gone missing at the same time but her body was not found. Nor could anyone find her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a cheer at the front of the line as the gates began to open. A small group from the hostel I was staying at had accompanied me. I wasn’t quite sure of what their names were but they were kind enough. All of us were relatively young as most were wandering artists, poor college students, solo travelers or what the man at the front desk had called “wayward souls”. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I chose to stay closer to the back of the group, although they all seemed friendly enough I still felt like the stranger. We made our way through quickly as tickets had been bought ahead of time. The group dispersed as some paired off and headed to different stores or rides. I went to make my way towards the closest place to eat. Skipping breakfast this morning had not been a good idea, by the time we had made it here my stomach had started to growl loudly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Vitale!” I heard a call from behind me. I turned around to find one of the other hostelers, a girl two rooms down  waiving me over.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come with us!” she yelled back pointing to the other girl behind her, Sibil I believe her name was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure” I replied, a small smile playing on my lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eden, saw you walking off all on your lonesome” Sibil called out her voice husky and velvet. Her dark curls framing her heart shaped face and deep brown eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can’t have you out here on your own . It’s supposed to be the happiest place on earth. Not the loneliest” Eden replied fussing my hair as I reached them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I’m not saying that it’s bad to be lonely-” she stuttered as Sibil nudged her with an elbow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What she means to say is” Sibil butted in giving the withering Eden a smile. “We would like it if you felt comfortable spending your time at the park with us.” Eden nodded adamantly making her black topknot wobble back and forth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah I’d like that. I just didn’t want to intrude in on anybody else’s plans” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eden smiled knowingly “well, you won’t be a bother to us. Besides Sibil isn’t much company either” by the end of her sentence a wicked grin had spread on her face. It was gone as quick as it came as Sibil landed a hard punch on her bicep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “Ow! What was that for?” Eden cried out rubbing her arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It looked like you were heading into that cafe, would you like to grab breakfast? This dummy forgot to bring ours” ignoring Eden’s cries Sibil made her way towards the cafe.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The day was going by quickly, breakfast had been a fruit parfait. Which had been an effort to make sure I didn’t throw up after a few rides. By lunch we had made our way through Fantasyland and were finishing up Tomorrowland.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We stopped to grab slushies at Eden’s request. She had grown up in Nebraska and wasn’t quite used to </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Claire just messaged me and said everyone is going to meet up at New Orleans Square for dinner” Eden glanced over at Sibil’s phone as she texted back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I watched the interaction quietly, it had been a long time since I had spent time with friends like this. It was a nice change from the constant work schedule I had back home. But those sacrifices meant my future at college was set and I would have enough money for the first year or two living here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god! That means we can go see him!” Eden shouted hoisting out her old iphone. I cocked an eyebrow at her as she frantically began tapping on her screen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s gonna be doing a walkthrough the park at two we have to go!” Eden cried out latching onto Sibil dramatically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What character gets her this amped?” I asked laughing at the dramatic display.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh” Sibil rolled her eyes at the question “she’s obsessed with the Darth Vader wannabe from the new movies” taking a sip from her cup.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah. I mean, you’ve gotta admit Adam Driver isn’t a bad looking villain” I replied, using my straw to mix my slushie to get it to melt more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“God, what is with you girls being into sick, sadistic crybabies?” Sibil groaned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eden stuck her tongue out at Sibil as she grabbed my hand and began pulling me towards the direction of Galaxy’s Edge.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I never said anything about liking Kylo Ren, but I won’t say that I didn’t find some scenes to be a little thrilling” I called out wiggling my eyebrows at Sibil.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>On our walk there Eden continued to prattle adamantly about all her favorite moments from the movies, her dismay at the series ending. After 10 minutes of walking I could see a vein popping up on Sibil’s forehead in irritation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We don’t have to go right away if you don’t want to,” I whispered, slowing down to meet her pace as Eden skipped ahead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She shrugged and walked forward, </span>
  <em>
    <span>did I do something wrong?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>By the time we arrived at the park there was still at least an hour to kill. Sibil still seemed irritated and Eden continued to complain about having to wait to see him. In an effort to maintain the peace I urged them into the line for the Rise of the Resistance as it was a relatively long wait. Once we made it to the front I was finally able to relax, Eden and Sibil had seemed so in tune earlier but now were on separate ends. The noise and distraction of the ride was a nice break from whatever was going on with them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> As we exited Eden checked her phone again, “only like 10 more minutes!” she yelled. I smiled lightly and stopped by the milk stand to grab a drink. There was a small sound as the crowd stopped moving, the sound of marching could be heard. Then there they were, the characters walking by. Rey, Chewbacca, Darth Vader and finally Kylo Ren.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He strode through the crowd, a domineering figure glowering at those who met his gaze. I continued to watch the procession as Eden did her best not to squeal. As he came closer though it seemed as if he was watching us. Although I couldn’t see his gaze I felt it, and continued to stare back. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He’s not looking at you</span>
  </em>
  <span>, especially with Eden’s fanfare you would be one to easily be looked over. As he came closer he stopped his troops and broke off heading directly towards us. He ignored those in the crowd that tried to interact, coming to a stop</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d suggest looking away, girl” he ordered through his mask staring down at the two of us. Eden clutched onto my arm nearly buckling over from the interaction. I continued to stare at him, a strange tension coiled inside of me. A simple phrase like that shouldn’t feel as much of a challenge, but from him it did. As the staring contest continued, in between blinks it seemed like Eden was gone, well mostly everyone was gone. Even the lighting seemed different but I’m sure it was from clouds moving overhead. Another blink and I was back in the crowd with Eden holding on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> In a snap he returned back to his route as if nothing had happened, he even seemed a little confused. Taking a moment to glance back at where we were still standing. I sighed and looked behind us expecting to see Sibil but she was nowhere to be seen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where did Sibil go?” I nudged Eden as she continued to gawk at the characters as they left.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eden” I called out grabbing her shoulder “where is Sibil?” She looked me over and then pointed to the Cantina. I rolled my eyes and grabbed her, dragging her away from our spot. I found Sibil inside having a drink while Eden waited outside hoping to get another glance at the characters.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “I don’t mean to bother you, but is everything okay?” I asked as she finished off her drink.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m fine. Eden can be a little much sometimes. Trust me, you don’t share a room with her” was her response. With a nod I claimed the stool next to her, giving my already aching feet a break. We sat in silence for the most part and ordered another round of drinks. Being 21 in Disneyland definitely had its perks, the adult drinks were pricey but good. The alcohol would make the day a little more interesting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We finished the rest of the day off getting through Frontierland and Adventureland. Dinner was interesting as well as everyone introduced themselves and talked amongst each other about what they had done. After a few more rides and some desserts Eden insisted on getting a group photo in front of Docking Bay 9 which Sibil agreed to begrudgingly. We made our way down Main St as the park began to close down, lights going off here and there in some of the shops. I should’ve bought a souvenir, but as I reached to get into my bag it wasn’t there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shit...” I muttered as I realized I had left my bag at the entrance to Galaxy’s Edge. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I must’ve put it down somewhere after we took the group photo.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“You good?” Sibil asked, making her way towards the exit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I forgot my bag at Galaxy’s Edge. I’m gonna go run and grab it”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want me to come with you?” Eden piped up, probably looking for a chance to try and run into the actors behind the scenes. Sibil glared at her and grabbed onto her topknot steering her away from me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll wait for you out here!” Eden called back as I turned on my heel and ran back towards the park.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the time I reached the entrance I was speed walking, trying to recall exactly where I had put my bag down. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Was it behind the planter? The trash can? No</span>
  </em>
  <span>. My lips pursed at my obvious confusion and the guilt of walking back into the park while they’re closing. I turned the corner and came up on the entrance to Docking Bay 9. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>My eyes searched the walls to see if I could spot my bag in the darkness. A sigh of relief escaped my lips as I spotted it on the ground leaning against the back of a bench. I jogged over lightly and dipped down to pick it up, when a flash of light in the distance caught my eye. Slowly I peeked over leaning over the bench to get a better view, there was a glow of red down one of the alleys next to the First Order Cargo. In a flash a shadow slammed against the wall, the force of it making me gasp, the red light grew brighter illuminating a body pinned up against the wall. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly muffled voices erupted, a cry from the pinned man pulled me closer to the alleyway as the source of the red light continued to grow. I blinked rapidly, testing my eyes to see if they were actually working. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Were the actors doing some kind of after hours rehearsal?</span>
  </em>
  <span> But as the red light grew brighter dread settled into my bones. The man on the wall wasn’t being held up by wires or people. He was simply floating his feet scrambling every now and then as he struggled as if something was pressed against his throat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was the next step that sent a chill down my spine. The source of the red light stepped into my line of sight. With two stormtroopers by his side Kylo Ren stood menacingly, his saber drawn spitting intimidation. I swallowed, feeling like a peeping Tom who had spotted something they shouldn’t have. I straightened my back out and slowly backed up towards the entrance. The group seemed entranced by their scene, t</span>
  <em>
    <span>hey wouldn’t see me, right?</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>My hunch grew more tepid as the man came flying into the plaza. Kicking up a cloud of dust as he rolled closer to the middle. The cloud was soon shaded red as Kylo’s shadowy form loomed closer to his prey. Either this was some fantastic acting or I had stepped into the actual world of Star Wars, which unfortunately is impossible. I skittered back hugging the wall inching my body further into the tunnel. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’re you doing in here ma’am?” Came a voice from behind me. I jumped and swiveled around to spot a park worker at the mouth of the opening. I squeaked and looked back to the group. The stormtroopers had the man hanging by his arms, leaving Kylo Ren to stare me down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silence hung thickly, a strange tension seemed to weigh down the air even more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bring her to me” came the chilling command. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>My mouth fell open as the park worker called out again, the storm troopers stalking towards me. I turned on my heel and sprinted the last leg of the opening. Sliding to a stop, the side of my shoe catching a crack in the sidewalk. I toppled onto my side scrapping my palms against the pathway. The worker bent down to offer help clearly confused by my reaction. My ears were ringing as I could hear Kylo approaching, the crunch of dirt under boots was audible through the fuzz. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In a panic I scrambled to push my hair out of my face expecting to see him standing in front of us. But there was nothing there, simply an empty entrance, a nervous laugh burst from my chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ma’am are you alright? I didn’t mean to scare you” the worker pleaded as he helped me up from the ground. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“D-do the actors n-normally practice after closing?” I sputtered wiping dirt off of my leggings. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean? Most of the actors have gone home ma’am” he guffawed “are you sure you didn’t hit your head on that fall?” He prodded reaching out to check for a bump. Without thinking I stumbled back from his reach, he must’ve been in his early 30’s and I didn’t necessarily feel comfortable with a stranger touching me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I didn’t hit my head. And I swear either your Kylo Ren or someone dressing up as him is beating up people in the park” I replied pointing towards the docking bay. He turned peeking into the entrance, seeing the same thing I was, nothing. He sighed and began to walk towards the attraction. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait! Where are you going?” I called out following after, but I soon found my feet glued to the ground at the mouth of the entrance. He walked into the park glancing around from side to side with a shrug he turned around, “there’s nothing to see here ma-”.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sound alone made my knees weak, it was the sight of a red sabre cutting a diagonal line through his body from his shoulder to his hip that made my knees buckle. I expected to feel nausea but nothing was seeming to register in my brain. My eyes were glued to his body as Ren’s soon overshadowed it from behind. The need to vomit didn’t hit until I watched the pieces slide apart, the man's torso hitting the ground with a sickening lifeless thud. His legs crumpled shortly after and the shaking started, but the need to throw up was drowned out by the drumming fear as Kylo approached. His advance was swift and the sound of his boots thudding closer and closer amped my fear up even more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was only 15 feet away when I was finally able to crawl backwards out from under the shadow of the entrance into the wan moonlight. The only thing I could do was shield myself as he stormed closer, his sabre dragging along beside him. I could smell the park employees death on him, clinging to his cloak. Burnt flesh and agony. As he rose his arm to strike his stride brought him in deftly and his swing came down just as quick. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>All I could do was squeeze my eyes shut and wait to die in whatever sick reality I was stuck in. But nothing happened. My eyes flew open and found myself staring at the sky. No one was there. Kylo had seemingly vanished into thin air, even the smell was gone. I stood on shaky legs hunching over clutching my body. I must be going crazy, was all I could think. Or hell maybe I had been drugged, some of the people I had come with had mentioned psychedelics in conversations casually at dinner. I didn’t dare to look into Galaxy’s Edge, in case the body was still there and in fact real. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I sighed and noticed my bag in the middle of the walkway near the entrance. I</span>
  <em>
    <span> must’ve dropped it when-</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I couldn’t finish the thought, or maybe I just didn’t want to. I was pretty sure I had been drugged, perhaps even on accident. I didn’t need or want that to be reality, the truth was always harder to face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The walk over to my bag was more of a shuffle, my stomach seemed to get more sensitive with each step. I bent down to grab the bag when I finally saw it. Just out of the corner of my eye, the deep burn in the concrete. A scorching reminder that my reality has just turned into hell. I snatched my bag up quickly, turned and ran. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the time I reached the front of the gates I was well out of breath and my lungs ached. Eden was the first one I ran into, by accident of course. My body was still focused on escaping and my mind was somewhere else. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Woah hold on there” she spoke kindly with a soft smile on her face. I made eye contact with her and my mind snapped back. The slight scent of popcorn and cookies surrounded me, and the occasional tinge of burning flesh broke through. A gag rose in my throat and I knew what was next, I pushed her aside and ran over to a small bush and threw up. Eden followed after and patted my back lightly while pulling my hair away from my face as another round of vomit made its way up. </span>
</p><p> <span>Once I was done heaving she led me over to a nearby bench and had me sit down. </span></p><p>
  <span>“Stay here and do not move” she ordered and ran down the path towards one of the resort buildings. She disappeared from my line of view, exhaustion seeping into every muscle of my body. My head fell back and I was left to stare at the night sky above me but even that seemed to make me feel sick. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I groaned and fumbled to get into my bag, remembering a spare water bottle I had stashed in it. Eden came back as I finished it off with another one of the hostel mates in tow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hurry the hell up Alistair!” she hissed sitting down next to me followed up by a muttered “this is your fault anyways”. My eyes were still closed as my head leaned against the bench.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Vitale, you didn’t happen to take a sip out of Alistair’s water earlier did you?” her voice was soft as she spoke. She softly picked up a few strands of my hair laying on my chest and placed them to the side. The touch made me shiver, it was simple and gentle but with the previous events flashing through my mind I found it hard to enjoy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I only drank out my water bottle” I murmed lifting up the now empty bottle. Eden’s hand came to rest on my forearm and tightened at my response. My mind was locked in a fierce battle,</span>
  <em>
    <span> did I just witness a murder, or was that an act? Lightsabers aren’t even real, how could it be real? But that burn mark in the ground</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think you might have eaten something bad?” Alistair, a fellow hostel mate, spoke this time crouching in front of me swaying erratically. That had to be it, I ate something bad. I could remember watching a TV show about Rye ergot, a fungus that grows in bread and when digested created psychedelic effects.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think so” I groaned and placed a hand on my head. I had eaten plenty of things containing bread today so it could’ve happened. At least that was the excuse I was going to use.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, if you think you’re done throwing up we should head out of here. The others already left to stop by one of the bars. I can drive Alistair’s van back” Eden spoke, holding her hand out to Alistair expectantly. He sighed and dug into the pockets of his baggy khaki shorts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I stood with a deep breath and let Eden know I was good to walk on my own, albeit slowly. I could hear her arguing with Alistair discreetly, but not clearly. Something about his water and being a complete moron from what I could hear from Eden. By the time we made it to the van we were all quiet, Alistair skipped his way back to the car stopping to stare at things in the distance occasionally.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As I opened the back door to the van, as Eden slid into the driver’s seat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure that he’s not sick too?” I asked as we watched him stand outside the passenger door. She sighed and nodded leaning over to open the door for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get in dumbass” she ordered, hitting him lightly with the door. By the time she was able to get him in the car I was laid down across the back seat. Sleep came blithely but my dreams were plagued with flashes of the last person I wanted to think about, Kylo Ren.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Subjectivity</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Vitale continues to struggle with reality and is finding it harder and harder to keep her grasp on her own.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>A few weeks had passed since the group hostel trip to Disney, and to be honest I couldn’t remember much after getting in the van. Everything had mixed into a mundane blur sprinkled with flashes of that night and Star Wars related nightmares. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This morning had been no different, jolted awake from a nightmare feeling completely drained. Trekking down the stairs to make coffee left me looking like a zombie and feeling like one. There were a few other hostelmates in the kitchen by the time I had woken up. Although most of them were out of the house for work or sightseeing. Brakert was sitting at the dining table scrolling through the news on his laptop. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was an older solo traveler who had been traveling the world for the past 15 years. Writing world famous articles on ancient civilizations, culture and scenery. As I padded into the kitchen he nodded a greeting and continued to sip on his coffee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The pot is still fresh.” he called out, not peeling his eyes from off his screen, “it’s my Guatemalan blend so don’t let it go to waste.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks Brack” I mumbled. Groggily I filled my glass up with ice and poured the coffee in slowly. I sighed with contentment, noticing that after emptying the pot there was a perfect amount of space for the creamer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You disgrace my coffee with that hazelnut shit Eden raves about-” Brackert started but was quickly shut up when I pulled out the plain cream.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m here to enjoy the luxurious exotic coffee you provide Brackert. I could never dream of soiling it with a different flavor. It’s strong enough on its own” I replied watching the coffee turn from a deep brown to a rich toffee. The notes of chocolate and citrus were comforting and it took all the power I had to not groan happily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Brackert seemed appeased by my answer and went back to his computer screen. I sipped my coffee and made my way back upstairs to the room. Although the caffeine in the coffee would surely wake me up, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t think I plan on staying awake</span>
  </em>
  <span>. By the time I made it back to my room it was already 8:30 AM but the call to crawl under the covers was far stronger than the pull to wakefulness. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I woke up a few hours later to the sound of knocking on the front door. I sat up to a small pinching pain in my temples, the typical forewarning of an approaching headache. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Great, just fucking great</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I pulled myself out of the bed and made my way back down the stairs. Brackert was no longer located in the kitchen and I could hear Eden speaking to someone at the front door. I took a seat at the table and buried my head in my hands as a dull throbbing began. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eden shut the door and quickly began tearing into a cardboard box, which made the throbbing ache a little more. She bustled into the kitchen, small squeaks and cries of excitement spilling out of her in the process.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look! It took forever to get here but I’m so excited!” she cried holding out something in her hands. I looked up and stared at the item in front of me. It took a few seconds for my brain to register what it was exactly until she spoke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a Kylo Ren plushie!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In a flash the panic from that night came back a small cry escaped my lips as I smacked the doll out of her hands. Eden stared back at me with incredulous eyes, as I curled my hands against my chest awkwardly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry, I just got spooked” I attempted to apologize for my reaction. She looked me up and down her hazel eyes betraying her irritation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m just-I think I’m gonna go to bed. Headache” the excuse came out jarred but was sufficient enough to allow me to shuffle away. I flew up the 2 flights of stairs and dashed to my small room taking the effort to shut the door quietly. With my back pressed to the door I closed my eyes and tried to calm my racing heart. The deep breathing exercises I had found online weren’t doing much and the urge to scream in frustration itched at the back of my throat. I let out a muffled groan and rubbed my face roughly, pulling my eyes open in the process.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But with that glimpse I paused, eyes still forced open by my palms. I wasn’t in my room, or at least it didn’t look like my room. Instead it looked like some kind of metal torture chamber, </span>
  <em>
    <span>since when had the hostel owner had this</span>
  </em>
  <span>? The thought was pointless, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I must be dreaming, this all must be one big, dumb dream</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a hiss a door on the other side of the room I neglected to notice opened. Causing me to turn around and find myself standing up against a cold metal wall and in fact not my wooden door. My confusion rose but was quickly replaced by a cold chill. The sound of familiar footsteps caught my ear as they grew closer to the room. That sound had plagued me for weeks, and here I was stuck in another inescapable dream. And as if on cue, his form filled the open doorway, his helmet reflecting the only light in the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His lack of response could only make me assume that he was shocked or confused to see me. </span>
  <em>
    <span>But why would a dream be shocked</span>
  </em>
  <span>? I asked myself as the sound of his leather gloves tightening caught my attention.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You” his voice came out modulated but held an edge that warned of danger. The sound, the feeling of it reverberated in my chest and made the moment feel all too real. </span>
  <em>
    <span>This couldn’t be real, this can’t be real</span>
  </em>
  <span>. This statement had become my new mantra the past few weeks, anything to make me feel sane. But here I was again, in a place that couldn’t be real, having hallucinations about a character from Star Wars.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I needed to convince myself that it wasn’t real, even if my brain was making it appear as if it was. It took a great amount of effort to break my eyes away from him, treating him as if he didn’t exist, </span>
  <em>
    <span>which he doesn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Quietly I began to walk towards the opposite end of the room, where my desk should be. Ren responded immediately swooping in his cape following behind him as he closed in. I continued to avoid making eye contact but found myself running to the spot. I shut my eyes as I watched his form near, reaching out to touch my very real and very sturdy desk. I stood there for a few moments wondering what was going to happen. But as I slowly opened my eyes, I found my hand hovering just above where my desk would be. And Ren was gone. I sighed and placed my hand on the desk for support, a light laugh left me as I turned around to lean against the side of the desk.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>There has to be something wrong with me</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Shakily I pushed myself off the desk and sat down lightly on the edge of the bed. I had been right about the vision being fake but I wasn’t asleep, </span>
  <em>
    <span>or could I have fallen asleep and walked to the desk</span>
  </em>
  <span>? My headache was gone but now I was simply too confused to think. </span>
</p><p><span>I spent the rest of the day laying in bed, not sleeping, not watching TV, not eating. Simply just staring at the wall with my back turned to the door listening to those around me living. All I could feel was numb, the hallucinations or dreams, </span><em><span>or</span></em> <em><span>whatever the hell they are</span></em><span>, were draining me significantly. </span></p><p>
  <span>I hadn’t felt this way in a while, not since the last depressive episode. It had happened when I turned 18 and slowly watched all of my friends and classmates go to college leaving me behind. I had always known I would need to work and save before I could attend school. Watching those around me begin their life left me wondering if I was stalling and failing at my own. I spent the next Fall, Winter and Spring moping around my grandparents house.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A mass of blankets and self-pity when I wasn’t working, I didn’t even take the time to garden with my grandfather when spring came round. It was at that point when my grandmother finally kicked my ass out of bed and chewed me out. I could remember her words as if they had been branded into the back of my mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re living your life not trusting in yourself and second guessing your strength to go through with your convictions.” her words had been sharp. “The reality of your situation is that you just have to put a little more elbow grease into achieving your hopes and dreams. That doesn't make you any less important or worthy than those who are getting help to achieve theirs.” by this point she had softened her words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your grandfather and I are very proud of all the work you put in while you were in High school to excel as much as you did. I promise you, that you’ve had to work harder for your education than half of your classmates and because of that you’ll be far better prepared to enter the working world. Any training or experience is better than none.” She patted my hand and left, but the funk still lingered for a few days. It was until a week later one morning I woke up and felt like something needed to change and it was me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I took the time to go out of my way to do all the things that were especially hard, and soon enough life became easier. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The remembrance of the memory sparked my curiosity, maybe I was suffering from hallucinations because I wasn’t addressing a problem I was having. Now the real question is what that problem is but I’m sure with some problem solving I can figure it out. I popped out of bed and tiptoed over to my laptop, making sure to be quiet as it was roughly 1:30 in the morning. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After years of working my ass off I had learned that having a job or something to do during the day had helped me to succeed in my goals and feeling accomplished. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Having a job could be a good distraction</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but I could vaguely remember my grandmother asking me to take the summer off to enjoy my time before school started. I chewed on my cheek as my laptop started up, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I made a promise to her to not work, so maybe I should find a job that’s more play than work</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pulling up local jobs was easy, scouring through the more mundane and corporate listings however was more difficult than expected. Most “fun” jobs consisted of being an entertainer, California was big on that and I so much, was not. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Time to cross those off the board</span>
  </em>
  <span>, next came childcare which most listings didn’t pay nearly enough or the listed requirements were way too demanding. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I needed something fun, I could always bartend again but the real question was how much fun that had been. Dealing with angry drunks, sad drunks, throwing up drunks and everything in between I would need a more relaxing job if I was going to keep a part of my promise. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So with my next search I made sure to add “fun” to the search parameters. The first few listings were for drivers, which unfortunately only having a bike made it hard to be one. The next few listings were for sales associates, entertainers again, and then I saw it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bartender </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Walt Disney Parks and Resorts</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anaheim, CA.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>$9.00 per hour. Benefits included.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I bit my lip and felt the drop in my stomach, bartending was good, Disneyland was fun. I wouldn’t have to deal with sad, angry or sick drunks as the park would handle any disruptive visitors. I also couldn’t assume that every time I’d go to the park I’d see someone get mutilated by a fantasy character. I groaned and rubbed my face, would I let this fear control my life and decisions. I had just saved and spent roughly $600 on my season pass and I was already going to abandon it? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lately it seemed like all I could do was ask myself if something was real or not and it was time to finally take control. After some deliberation I caved and submitted my resume. Sighing I pushed my chair back and hunched over continuing to scroll through more listings applying for a few other bartending positions at small clubs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the time I was done my eyes were dry from the dark room and bright computer screen. A glance at the clock told me that it was now 3:20 AM, with another sigh I slumped against the back of the chair unsure of what to do at this point. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Quietly I sat there contemplating everything that had happened. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Was it stress from the move that made me see things</span>
  </em>
  <span>? </span>
  <em>
    <span>I could’ve drank too much, or someone could’ve slipped something in my drink</span>
  </em>
  <span>. But it was Disneyland, </span>
  <em>
    <span>who the hell would be drugging people at Disneyland? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I had to stop this, I had already proved to myself earlier that if I simply ignored whatever I was seeing that it went away. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Everything is simply your imagination,</span>
  </em>
  <span> that interaction with Kylo Ren at Disneyland had to have been what your mind clung to. Hell you could’ve been hallucinating Mickey or Daffy and could’ve been fine seeing that. </span>
  <em>
    <span>They probably wouldn’t be slicing people in half</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I groaned once more and proceeded to pat my cheeks aggressively. </span>
  <em>
    <span>If I was going to obsess about this then I could at least try to do some research</span>
  </em>
  <span>. So, once more I pulled myself closer to the laptop and began my search. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There wasn’t an easy way to go about this, I wasn’t even sure what to look up. So settling on “hallucinations” was my first guess. Most of the information that popped up explained what kinds of hallucinations people could experience followed by what could cause them. Some listing various mental illnesses involving psychosis, neurocognitive disorders, drugs and alcohol. Which didn’t give me much hope, or answers for as to why I might be hallucinating now. Reluctantly I proceeded to search “ hallucinations stress”, which gave me a variety of answers. Most of which stated that stress could cause hallucinations, or perhaps can exasperate any existing mental disorders.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Could I chalk it all up to depression</span>
  </em>
  <span>? I had gone into a short depressive episode afterwards but it was caused by the hallucination, </span>
  <em>
    <span>or maybe I was already depressed and didn’t realize it</span>
  </em>
  <span>? I laughed at that thought, but could recall the severe anxiety I had experienced before my move. The mix of excitement and fear could have triggered an episode that crept in slowly and began to increase in severity once I thought I could relax. Tapping my fingers rhythmically on the desk I made up my mind, I needed to spend more time taking care of myself like I did with my last episode. A job and some self-care would have to suffice until I could find a potential therapist nearby or until this episode could blow over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The hostel was dead silent as the clock struck 3:33 AM, not even the sound of snoring or outside traffic could be heard. A small chill ran up my spine as I pulled my legs closer, my shorts and t-shirt suddenly became inadequate for the temperature in the room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think you’ve escaped” the modulated voice sent a shiver up my spine, the panic set in a flash. I didn’t dare look over my shoulder. I couldn’t let the hallucination believe I thought it was real.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll find you” his tone was certain, he would indeed find me. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It’s not real, he’s not real, it can’t be real. </span>
  </em>
  <span>All I could do was repeat this over and over again to stop the fear from overflowing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In a snap I felt his hand grab my hair pulling my head back forcefully. A groan of pain escaped me as he continued to pull my head back until I could see his helmeted head looming over my face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Am I real enough to you now?” even through the modulator I could hear the barb in his words as tears rolled freely down my cheeks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not real” I whispered, lifting my hands to try and pull his hand out of my hair. His grip was hard, as I continued to pull at his arm feebly. His other hand seemed to gradually appear as if he was pulling it out of water. His torso was the same as I could see the top part of him as he leaned over but it seemed his lower half was moving in and out of view with his legs never appearing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He slowly leaned down further, inching closer and closer to my face until he was only a few inches away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Perhaps I should take you now.” he spoke calmly tugging at my hair slightly tipping the chair back onto its back legs. “Perhaps” he began again, his free hand wrapping around my neck and began to squeeze increasing the pressure slowly. I felt helpless, </span>
  <em>
    <span>how could this not be real</span>
  </em>
  <span>. The vice of his grip was now tight enough to make attempts at breathing evident. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>One of my hands dropped from his grip on my hair to the hand on my throat. The feel of the leather gloves on my fingertips made my head spin, as well as the lack of oxygen. I gritted my teeth and tried to pinch his hand as hard as I could. And was met by an increase of pressure on the sides of my throat, a gasp escaped me as my head floated higher into unconsciousness. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was going to choke the life out of me, here and now and there was nothing I could do. With the sound of blood rushing through my ears, I made a snap decision. </span>
  <em>
    <span>If I’m going to die, I’m not going to go without a fight.</span>
  </em>
  <span> With all the strength left in my body I snapped my head up, smacking into his helmet as hard as I could. The impact was rough against the cold metal and I was pretty sure I might have broken my nose. Ren had pulled back slightly and I could feel the irritation rolling off of him in waves. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a light trickling feeling on my face, my nose was bleeding from the hit. The smell of iron was strong and Ren’s grip on my neck shifted. He released the pressure on it and simply spread his fingers around the area, pulling his shoulders forward more. The break was short as he gripped my neck tightly and picked me up. I gagged at the force as he threw me backwards, my shoulder hit the bed first softening my fall. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unfortunately with the power in his throw my head hit the headboard and the impact left me curled up and cradling my head. Through the dizziness, my gaze wandered towards my desk. Hoping against all hope that Ren would be gone, but his dark figure now stood at the foot of the bed. I could tell he was saying something as his deep voice mumbled in the distance, slowly darkness began to bleed into the edges of my vision. I could feel my head slowly slipping backwards, Ren lifted his arm, his fingers outstretched as the darkness consumed my vision more. Finally as my will to hold on ran out my head flopped to the side, leaving Ren still in my line of view. With my eyes closing slowly, I watched him take a step forward but his figure began to vanish. Once more seemingly being submerged into water, the last thing I saw was his outstretched hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Darkness surrounded me as I flitted in and out of consciousness. Images and dreams swirled in and out of my mind, flashes of my mother’s soft smile and my father’s warm eyes, to deep hazel eyes filled with agony that I knew but couldn’t place. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Feelings I knew that weren’t my own seemed to flood in and drown me. Unexplained pain made my heart strain and breathing seemed impossible. Followed by a burning rage so deep seated in my soul, a scream welled up in my throat but as I tried to let it out all that came was silence. A chill swept in and immense indifference took its place, I couldn’t feel anything and I didn’t want to. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Conversations and shouting echoed through my mind but the words I found impossible to comprehend, the feelings they invoked however were felt ten fold. I wanted to be free of this hurricane of negativity, and as I tried to pull away and out of the muddy darkness a set of claws seemed to sink themselves into my temples. My head began to throb at the feel of sinking claws in my skull, but as I continued to fight I felt something in my hands. It was soft and smooth, the texture of it bringing me a strange sense of peace. The smell of fire, citrus and musk floated off from it, creating ribbons of pale yellow light. The claws receded and the darkness began to fall away as the streams of yellow light guided me towards the surface. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a cry from below, and as I looked back I saw a hand reaching out of the abyss. The desperation of its reach tugged at my heart, and I soon found myself pushing my way back down. The small ribbons of light continued to flow upwards pulling me away from the outstretched hand. Using more force I brushed past them and reached out towards the outstretched hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I won’t leave you behind...I’ve got you….” I found myself saying as our fingertips brushed. There was a burst of electricity at the touch and my eyes flew open. The grey walls of the hostel room were the first thing to greet me. Followed by a painful throbbing headache, I groaned and reached up to touch the top of my head. There was no bump but something in my hand caught my eye. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I sat back as the memories of last night became clearer, my hand still fisted around the object in question. Slowly, I opened my palm and stared at it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A glove.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A black leather glove much too large to be my own or belong to anyone I would know. My hand closed back around it clinching down tight enough to feel my nails through the leather. The last thing I had seen before I fell unconscious was his hand, and from what I could remember, his hand had been bare. I must’ve grabbed onto his hand when he threw me, taking his glove off in the process. I rubbed my fingers over the material again, it felt real. All of this was too real. I placed my hands on my forehead hopping to magically quell my aching head. A familiar scent caught my attention, citrus and musk, calm and peaceful. I opened my eyes and found the glove hanging in front of my nose. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The thought of feeling such peace from just the smell of him was the final straw. I quickly stood up and shoved the glove into the crevice between the headboard and bed. I trudged over towards my desk, picking up the tipped over chair. </span>
  <em>
    <span>The fact that nobody heard you last night was baffling, the landing from the throw should’ve woken up most of the hostel</span>
  </em>
  <span>. But as I emerged from my room, I found the hallway empty and most doors were closed or the rooms were empty. I shuffled to the bathroom and made sure to turn the lock on the doorknob.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> A quick look in the mirror sent a wave of dread crashing through me. Dark bruises left a ring around my neck, faint enough on the front to ignore but the sides had visible finger marks. My nose hadn’t in fact broken but was sore to touch and had plenty of blood still lodged in my nasal passages. It would have to be a hair down, high neck kind of day. I brushed through my hair finding it surprisingly unmatted, but there was a tender spot where it had been pulled on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A brush and rinse cleaned the leftover iron taste out of my mouth, replacing it with a strong minty flavor. As I bent down to get a drink from out of the tap I glanced up at the mirror and saw him in the reflection staring back at me. Kylo’s helmet was off and those familiar hazel eyes finally found their owner. I sputtered in shock and fell back as my knees gave out. I whipped around only to find no one behind me, with a quick glance the mirror confirmed this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>My hand was still clinging to the sink as I leaned against the cabinets trying to calm my racing heart. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a knock on the door that grabbed my attention, </span>
  <em>
    <span>how long had I been sitting there</span>
  </em>
  <span>?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Vitale? Are you in there?” it was Eden’s soft voice, she must’ve heard the clatter. “Are you okay? Sibil said she heard some weird sounds coming from your room last night, but didn’t want to interrupt in case you had-” she coughed awkwardly and continued “a guest in there with you”. </span>
</p><p> <em><span>A guest? I could always play it off like that, or should I tell her the truth</span></em><span>?</span></p><p>
  <span>I muffled a cough to try to clear my throat, </span>
  <em>
    <span>a guest, let’s just call it a guest. </span>
  </em>
  <span>With a sign I unlocked the doorknob and opened the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey guys, sorry it took me so long to update. This one is quite a bit longer and I'm hoping to make most chapters this long but I had a little more time to work on it and some good inspiration! I'm trying to not make things go as fast but sometimes you can't help but get excited so... </p><p>I also just realized that I can upload rich text, so I'm sorry for any confusion from the first chapter. I'm going to reload it so you can see what Vitale's thoughts are a little more clear (in italics).</p><p>Overall, I feel like my writing is missing some things here and there. So once more, feel free to leave feedback! I would greatly appreciate it as a budding writer so anything helps!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry if it's rough around the edges, it's taken me months to feel okay with this edit and will most likely change things throughout it. The summary will definitely be changed but I didn't want to give too much away. Feel free to hack at the writing if things aren't making any sense or if you have any suggestions I'm open to them.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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